It makes my heart ache

Here’s mine:

I don’t stop him. I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair of me. Instead, I hold perfectly still as he snorts a second line from my skin.

He needs this. He’s not just numbing the pain. He’s numbing life.

Because no matter how hard he tries, he’s never been good at dying.

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Mistress Ann

4 thoughts on “It makes my heart ache

  1. I’d wagered four lives against a hundred thousand dollars, against people who in all likelihood had killed someone who’d made a similar bet. Four lives, including the one in my arms…and all of them could die if I made a single mistake. I shuddered.

    “Are you okay?”

    “No,” I said.

    “What do you need?”

    It took two tries to speak.

    “Permission to act like a silly girl.”

    “Granted,” he said.

    I didn’t cry; what lumbered out of my back brain was an emotion way too big for tears and sobs. I just buried my face in his shoulder and shook like a leaf in a windstorm.

    -From “Margin Play”

  2. My world crumbles around me. It’s over. He’s gotten in to his dream school and they’ve made plans. He’s already moving on.

    I knew it would end, but not like this. I thought I’d be the one to have to end it, to let him go live his dream. I’m so stupid. So fucking stupid.

    I can’t be here. I put on my jacket, grab my backpack, and run back to my room. I cry the whole way.

    -From Working On It

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